5 Things Only New Yorkers Will Understand

If you’re not from New York, don’t even bother reading these!  They are so far beyond your comprehension that to do so would certainly be a waste of your time.  Still reading?  Well, at least we warned you.

1.  When you’re walking down the sidewalk and other people are walking too slowly

Oh, what a feeling!  A feeling that anyone from outside of New York has never known.

2.  When you’re getting on the subway at rush hour and it’s crowded

Does any other city in the world even have a subway system?  Surely not.  Or, on the off-chance that they do, there is no way that they could appreciate this particular feeling, as it is so inherent to New York that they could not even think of it, probably.

3.  When there’s a long line for that famous bakery.  You know, the cupcake one.

This bakery is without a doubt the best bakery in the world.  Anyone who has not tasted one of its delicious pastries will never be able to fathom the utter agony of being forced to wait in line before being able to make a purchase there, at that very location.

4.  Sitting in a yellow taxi

Studies show that non-New Yorkers are literally incapable of empathy, meaning that any attempt they might make to understand this feeling would inevitably fall laughably short of the real thing.

5.  When you have to help a tourist with directions… again

It’s like, hey, how about instead of getting lost, you think ahead and spend your entire life learning these streets, like I did?  Alas, these simple tourists, just like all other people on earth, will never possess the brain capacity necessary to even conceive of such a struggle.